This is a deep-rooted fear of getting close to people especially when it comes to romantic relationships as a result of a bad experience in the past. For example, moving in with your partner or getting married.
The person associates any relationship to that bad one and the fear of history repeating itself keeps them from getting close to anyone. The fear of commitment can come from abusive relationships, abandonment, or neglect.
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Why are people scared of commitment?
People are usually scared of committing to a relationship as a result of a bad experience in the past. This could be related to a relationship they had in the past or they witnessed a bad relationship growing up, for example, divorced parents.
The fear of commitment is a real problem in society today and it affects a lot of people. People who experience fear of commitment usually live in denial and for that reason are unable to deal with their problems.
How do I overcome my fear of commitment?
The best way to overcome the fear of commitment is by confronting the issue that caused this fear in the first place. Facing the reason why you are afraid to commit to a relationship will help you overcome your fears.
It is never a bad idea to have a support group to help you cope. This could be your close friends, family, or simply people dealing with the same issue. This will help you recover sooner.
What are the signs of commitment issues?
- Avoid serious relationships.
- Avoid emotional attachment.
- Not a Priority.
- Avoid talking about the future.
- Unable to make progress.
- Question the relationship.
- Feel uneasy with real emotions.
- Not invested in the relationship.
- Find any reason to end a relationship.
- Not involved in future plans.
Avoid serious relationships.
If you find that you avoid serious relationships for one reason or another it could mean you have a fear of commitment. This is something only you can address.
Try to figure out why you avoid having any serious romantic relationship. Avoiding serious relationships does not always point to having commitment issues but it is one reason that explains why a person behaves this way.
Avoid emotional attachment.
People who have a fear of commitment usually avoid having any emotional attachment especially when it comes to romantic relationships.
This is a defense mechanism and they believe if they are not emotionally attached to the person then that person can not hurt them. If you witness this behavior in yourself then it is time to address the problem before it affects your relationship.
Not a Priority.
If your partner does not make you a priority in their life, then it means your relationship is not that important to them. This could be because of several reasons but it could also point towards fear of commitment.
If you find yourself keeping your partner at a distance because of fear of getting close emotionally then this could indicate you have commitment issues and if you are unwilling to address these issues your relationship will suffer for it.
If you want this relationship to work, then you need to have an honest conversation with your partner and find a solution together to address this issue.
Avoid talking about the future.
Being unable to discuss future plans with your partner could also be an indication of commitment issues. Making plans, especially future plans, cements the status of a relationship.
It shows a real commitment to each other at least for the foreseeable future. If this is something that makes you uncomfortable then there is a real chance you are afraid of committing to this relationship.
Unable to make progress.
If your partner is unable to make any real progress in the relationship and take the necessary steps, this could indicate serious commitment issues. For example, if your partner is finding it difficult to move in together or maybe get married and have kids.
This could indicate that they are afraid of the progress this relationship requires to grow and this may require a different approach to your relationship and future together.
Encourage them to talk about the problem either with you or a therapist to help them recover. This will greatly benefit your relationship.
Question the relationship.
If you find yourself questioning your relationship with the intention of finding a reason to end it, then maybe you should be addressing the real problem which is usually commitment phobias.
People that have commitment issues usually find any reason to end a relationship that is progressing the correct way. Their fear of emotional attachment keeps them from accepting the true nature of the relationship.
Feel uneasy with real emotions.
If you are unable to express real emotions to your partner. or you feel uncomfortable when they show their emotional side, it could indicate commitment issues.
Having a fear of commitment is not a real issue if you are able to admit this to yourself and find help. Having such conversations with your partner brings you closer and allows them to support you the way you need in order to help your relationship grow.
Not invested in the relationship.
If your partner is not invested in the relationship, for example, make no effort to make plans for the future or commit to the plans that you have made, this could indicate a fear of commitment.
Relationships are all about working together and this takes a certain element of commitment to the person you are with as a sign that you are working in the same direction.
Find any reason to end a relationship.
If you find yourself ending the majority of your relationships because of silly reasons, then you need to address the real reason as to why you are afraid of commitment.
People with commitment issues usually end the relationship before it gets serious to avoid getting emotionally attached.
Not involved in future plans.
If your partner shows no signs of interest in your future then that could mean they don’t really see a future for your relationship. This could be in the way they ignore questions about the future or general lack of interest in the relationship.
How To Overcome The Fear Of Commitment .
Just like any other fear, the fear of commitment is real and deeply rooted. This means that overcoming commitment issues is not something that will happen overnight.
It will take a lot of work. But it is important to note that there are things that can be done to make the process easier.
Individual Therapy.
This type of therapy is important because it helps you open up about the things you find most difficult about being part of a relationship.
Individual therapy takes away the pressure of having to face your fears in front of other people, especially your partner.
This is an important step in the recovery process and it is always best to try to face your face alone before you can face them with someone else.
Having therapy can help you identify the problem, the source and give you the tools you need to face your fears. This is an important step in overcoming commitment issues and learning how to be part of a healthy relationship.
Couples Therapy.
Couples therapy would be the next gradual progression in understanding and dealing with commitment issues. Having a partner that understands and respects your fears is important. This will help you deal with your problems and having the right support structure can only help.
Taking couples therapy helps you open up about your fears to your partner. It also plays a vital role in allowing them to understand you better and figure out ways to support you moving forward.
It can be difficult for some people to open up about their fears. This is more so, especially if it’s someone you are trying to build a future with. But it is important to understand that in most cases doing so only brings you closer as a couple.
Showing your boner beside you doesn’t make you weak in a relationship. It shows that you are trying your best to build a healthy relationship with someone you care about.
Be open and honest with your partner.
It is important to be open and honest with your partner especially about the things that affect your relationship. Honesty is one of the most important parts of building a healthy relationship.
Help your partner understand your fears and maybe together you can come up with solutions together. Keeping your commitment issues secret will not help your relationship. In fact, it will hold you back and stop you from growing as a couple.
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What Are The Signs Of Commitments Issues?
Conclusion.
The fear of commitment is something that holds people back. That is why it’s important, to be honest with yourself and find ways to deal with the problem.
Therapy is one way to go but even talking about it with your close friends or partner can help.
Whichever way you choose to deal with the issue and you will be much happier as a person and a couple.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article.
Truly Yours.
